A Lifechanging Weekend in Leunig Cartoons

In Australia we have a poet that is rather deep and eccentric, his name is Michael Leunig. He has been named a National Treasure because of his rare insight into human nature, and his intriguing perspective of how things work here in our universe. He came from a past of negativity and darkness as were his artistic creations, but then light began to crack through his shell and he found faith, and hope and love.

My life has been similar - 21 years of Social Anxiety Disorder - a life shadowed in every way by negativity and overwhelming fear. Healing from that was a wonderful experience and for the first time in my life I could feel the emotions of happiness and sadness. I remember crying one day and being so glad I could feel the warm tears running down my cheeks. I could finally feel. I could be real. I had the capacity to grow and change and risk and love and laugh.

I have been trying to get out of negative thinking cycles for years and improved greatly. The stress and worry has been reduced yet I still had some major fears in my life. The fear of rejection and the fear of success... Till this weekend!!!!

Is this how you feel? I must admit there have been times I have felt this same way. Life can get overwhelming. Enjoy this one minute animated video by Leunig!

Wouldn't it be amazing if we could get rid of those fears and negative thoughts, our defenses and walls? This weekend I was blessed to be sponsored to go through a Foundations 1 workshop. I played very hard! I was not afraid to reach into the dark places and reveal them into the light. I was not afraid to be honest about my struggles and share some of the most painful times of my life. I cried. I laughed. I danced. I let go. I accepted.

The next two videos are my favorites... I hope you enjoy as you continue this blog...

Spiritual Dreams

I never dream dreams, normal or spiritual. (I asked God to help me never remember my dreams as I always seemed to have horrible dreams as a child). Sometimes I have seen pictures from God in my mind when I am awake - but never have I been given a Dream or Vision from God. But a few weeks ago I was lying in my bed and as I was sleeping I saw clearly a green snake curled up beside my head ready to strike. It had two heads. I woke up in a fright and leapt out of bed and turned the light on and it was gone. "Maybe", you say, "this was just a normal dream/nightmare." But for me I had never had such a vivid experience or dream. I had no idea what the dream/vision meant but knew to seek confirmation with a discerning spirit.

A week later I was (not dreaming but in reality) walking in the forest with a friend, and his dog almost stepped on a snake in the path. This snake was a water snake, speckled brown. It was ready to strike but when I looked closely it had two heads because it was actually two snakes curled up together. This is very strange because even though I have done a lot of bushwalking, I have rarely seen a snake and never seen two snakes together in my life (and I am from Australia!)

So with the dream confirmed in reality I knew that both experiences were warnings from God. I am still praying for insight and protection and ask for your prayers also as the ministry I am in often has intense Spiritual Warfare associated with it. The devil loves to attack and destroy people in prayer ministry. He knows that prayer is a weapon that will always defeat him. The more we learn how to pray with power the more he loses his power, his strongholds are broken, his oppression is released, his snares are loosed and his schemes revealed and his angels repelled. That is one of the main reasons I am currently writing a book for teaching children to pray by using creative and sensory activities - I am teaching them how to hear and discern God's voice and pray with power.

Thank you for your prayers and I pray we will all continue to learn how to pray powerfully!

Recently Published Article

Recently Published in Story Harvest is a very short testimony of my amazing Life Changing Moment with God ten years ago.

"I was sitting at my computer one day wondering where I could volunteer for the next six months, but frustratingly no doors were opening. I had just finished studying at a university in Toronto, exchange from Australia, but because the passport control office had mistakenly allowed me to stay for an extra six months until May 31, 2001, I was looking forward to the next new adventure. Suddenly a very distinct voice spoke clearly into my mind... "

For the rest of this short story CLICK HERE. I hope you enjoy!

Fun Creative Prayer Together

Very Different Prayer Room

Last week I was contacted by a new friend in Brooklyn, NY to help her come up with ideas for a Prayer Room she wants to create in her house for visitors and friends who are coming to support her during the home birth of her second baby. How beautiful for people to wait in a sacred space where they can create blessings for the baby, pray for it's future, pray for the family and be part of this most spiritual moment.

The Next Big Adventure

I recently put in an application for Graduate school to do my Masters (starting Nov, 2011) at a seminary called Mars Hill Graduate School, so will be traveling to Seattle for the interview in two weeks - more from Seattle in the next newsletter!

Witchcraft and Satanism in Malawi November 2009

I knew something big to do with spiritual warfare would happen on this trip after the training I received in Hawaii! But I had no expectations. I had no idea what I was going to do while in Malawi but trusted God had a plan. A friend Tania had invited me on this trip so with minimal preparation we found ourselves privileged and blessed to be experiencing real life in Africa. I was allowing the Holy Spirit to lead as I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was supposed to be here.

Day 1: It is so hot, we are driving past villages and every house seems to have a mud brick works in their front yard! The landscape has some trees and the brown dirt is being hoed into ridges in preparation for the rainy season which could be here in a few weeks, with this comes the growing of corn maize and, unfortunately Malaria. Every house has white corn meal drying on mats outside which I had seen from the airplane and wondered about. This is the staple food - Nsema - we eat with our hands. As we pass each village there is usually a well with women and children lined up with brightly colored containers to carry back to their homes on their heads. We stop briefly at Lake Malawi and see a hippopotamus.

Week 1: We are here for three weeks and the village know we have come to pray for them so there are a lot of requests! House after house we hear the tragedy and heartache of different families and their needs. This little village of Ekwendeni near Muzuzu has it's problems with drunks and prostitution, some of the men take another wife secretly - even the Christian men - which causes untold problems within the families. Life is very hard for the women if they do not have a husband, as they are harassed by other men and find it very difficult to survive. They work so hard, walking up to 15 km to find firewood once a week, with the water also carried on their heads. The electricity and water get turned off at random times. We bathe out of a bucket. The houses are simple and clean, people walk everywhere, there are very few cars. Everything is done by hand. The children run around in tattered clothes and some have extended bellies. The weather has been so hot and there is so much dust. One day we all suffered from dehydration so that even our local interpreter Peter ended up in hospital - I am drinking 5 liters of boiled water a day.

We started by praying for a young man who was the son of a Presbyterian Reverend. The young man was rebelling and stealing, drinking, smoking, etc. The pastor gave him a challenge and he repented with tears. He gathered all the inappropriate items in his house and he burned them. It was beautiful to see the reconciliation and forgiveness between mother and father and son. He then came and joined our Bible worker team for a while. The second family we prayed for had five children, two of his children were taken by witches at night and reported being turned into animals. Soon all the neighbor children were gathered into the house also praying for repentance. It is not their choice to be taken and they do not like it.

A witch lives only a few doors up the road. The witches often demand that the children curse or kill their parents and are punished if they do not. One of the children admitted to cursing the father and he could no longer walk properly. So many people seem to be under a spiritual curse here. We pray for hundreds of people. Day after day. I write a prayer list out in my diary for each person. I also ask God for specific texts for each person and He is giving me texts that describe why they are sick and what to pray for with lots of promises to encourage. Each person is so grateful and find Bibles afterward to study these scriptures.

For three weeks a local evangelist Golden Lapani and a team of dedicated Bible workers are running a Jesus campaign. There are songs, classes for the children and families, the Jesus Movie is a great hit in their local language and then Golden speaks powerful messages, seven nights a week. Some of the people were asking if it could go for another month! We have put on events for the orphans, and widows giving out food, soap and toothbrushes. One family chose to stop brewing beer and broke all their pots. During the day Tania and I go out with the Bible workers and pray for people in their homes, then each night we pray for people at the meetings. This has been a powerful time of spiritual warfare with many muslims coming to the meetings and enjoying them.

I am shocked to find that 90% of the children under 10 in Ekwendeni are taken by witches every night. Even the children of Christians. They are afraid to go home to sleep each night. Some of the local church leaders of different denominations are not really aware of the situation or do not believe in witchcraft and wonder why we keep praying for people involved in witchcraft and satanism. I think the same thing happens in America. A lot of Christians don't believe in voodoo or spells or curses or demonic activity. The truth is we do not have to be afraid of it because demons run and every curse can be broken with Jesus' name. There is spiritual warfare in every country in the world. A friend from Florida had a history of demons coming to him at night sometimes trying to choke him. He was a Christian. Unfortunately no one had taught him how to pray in this situation and the power that was available to him.

The next few weeks were challenging with spiritual attacks on my health but we still saw the most incredible answers to prayer. Every time we prayed for children they would no longer have witches come and take them during the night. We broke a lot of curses off families that had a history of involvement in witchcraft or sexual immorality that had opened doors to demonic activity. We anointed people for healing and their houses. The most powerful thing I was involved in was teaching the children how to pray in the name of Jesus - to say 'No. In the name of Jesus Christ - GO AWAY! I am covered by the blood of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit lives in me, God's angels are protecting me and Jesus is my friend!'

Week Three: Yesterday a lady walking on the road near our evangelistic meeting was killed by a falling tree. She was on her way to a funeral after having attended another funeral. Such a tragedy... So much blood has been spilled in this town. Many people have abortions, affairs, second marriages, prostitution, HIV, diseases, many visit witch doctors for healing that make scars, people put curses on each other, many are involved in satanism or witchcraft and drink blood. There is a lot of poverty here and a lot of demonic bondage, witchcraft and cursings.

I can see clearly the attempt by the devil to pollute and destroy the Blood Covenant here. We continued to encourage people to pray that the many witches living in the village would be either converted or leave. If the people keep praying we will see a transformation in their spiritual lives, their physical lives and even the ground would be changed. "If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place." 2 Chron 7.14

One day the pastor brought Tapiwa who was an Adventist Christian to us to continue praying for. She was an 18 year old girl who had been heavily involved in satanism. She had killed her 16 year old brother who had just received a scholarship to a school in Japan. For the last few months she could not talk, or swallow properly or move her body. She was locked up inside. Her eyes were piercing and she looked very dark yet we knew that she wanted to be free. She repented and broke off the curses over her life and God gave me these texts for her: Ez 16.53-63, 2 Chron 21.12-15, Psalm 49.13-17, Ez 33.15-16, Hab 1.5, Luke 11.13 and Is 35. The second session she was smiling, had more movements, her thoughts were clearer and she was singing and brighter. When she was baptized she ran out of the font. Her mother and father were also baptized and they report a complete transformation in her life, Praise God.

One night we anointed so many people, I could not count. A few people were healed immediately. On the last day about 60 people were baptized and I taught over a hundred children how to pray against the witches. It was an incredible three weeks of ministry. I saw the value in praying for people and teaching them how to pray. Discernment is the most valuable tool we can teach people. I believe that real discipleship continues after the famous preacher and foreigners go home and the meetings stop. It was such an incredible time to teach our interpreter Peter how to pray. His passion and dedication is amazing. I called him on the phone a couple of months after we left and he said that there have been more people healed returning to work, but some of the children were taken and whipped by the witches for repenting. He reports that every time he teaches a child how to pray powerfully in Jesus name, the witches do not come back. He also said that one witch has left the village. Please keep praying for the freedom of Ekwendeni. If you would like a prayer list please email me.

It took me many years before I understood the need for a proper understanding of the Blood Covenant. I didn't quite understand why blood was used as a sign of God's love and power, why circumcision was a symbol then and not now, why people married more than one wife in the Old Covenant but the New Covenant it was just one and how marriage vows today are a parallel with the Hebrew Blood Covenant. Basically I did not understand why Jesus had to die or why his blood was so important. If you would like to know more information about the Blood Covenant or breaking curses through prayer please contact me or see my website:

www.BlissfulMinistries.com or sign up for free Bible Studies.

If you would like to see pictures or stories of more adventures go to:

Pictures or Facebook

Whats Coming Up?

Nicki has just been interviewed on a worldwide radio station called Crossroads which will be aired on Feb 10 at 9am and 11pm USA Central time. If you do not have the radio then you can listen here on-line. It is an hour long!

Nicki is also needing to raise support for 2010. She continues to live her life as a disciple, listening to God's voice and following him to the ends of the earth sharing the gospel and setting people free through prayer. She needs the help of the Body of Christ to do this as she lives only on donations. Would you be willing to sponsor her $20 a month? Her US Tax 2009 Income: $4000 including cash donations.

Her next mission trip is to India and to different churches in the USA to help change their culture of prayer.

She is currently writing a book titled: A Pocket Guide for Travelers - Everything I wished I Knew Before My First Mission Trip. It mixes travel tips and cultural awareness with discipleship guides. It challenges the way mission trips are currently done and calls for Biblical discipleship to be the way we evangelize overseas.

A similar report from a YWAM Discipleship School in Nigeria. The team courageously prayed for and disarmed 900 Taliban-trained militants armed with the latest weapons. One leaders testimony reveals: "My job was to kidnap white people." He smiled. But he said, "I wasn't rehabilitated, I was transformed by the power of God." Prayer can change countries! Click here for full story.

I look forward to the coming adventures of 2010 and I pray you do too! Have a life changing year, drawing closer to God every day, listening to his voice and being abundantly blessed by a God who adores you.

Nicki Carleton
I Believe!

The picture above is of me and Rajab at our open air meeting in Ekwendeni. Rajab stole my heart. He was a tiny boy with an extended stomach and he was always hungry. He was seven years old but the size of a five year old. He was a Muslim but loved Jesus. When the Jesus Movie was playing the scene where Jesus died, he exclaimed, 'but don't worry it's going to be OK because Jesus wakes up!'

* Please pray for Ethiopia in a horrifying situation similar to 1984. Starvation is facing 6.4 million people after a drought wiped out the harvest. www.cbmus.org
* January 2010 is Slavery and Human Traficking Prevention Month. Pray how you can help bring justice into our world. Stop the Traffik.

Mission Trip to Tarahumara Mexico.

Mission Trip to Tarahumara

In my travels I meet some fascinating people which included recently the artist Bill Baker. His amazing pastels are a beautiful record of some of the most remote traditional cultures around the world. So when he invited me on an extreme mission trip to Mexico I knew the Holy Spirit was planning another adventure.

My mission trip to Mexico was a little dangerous. The day we were to travel, the front page of my Yahoo had an article on the drug wars in Juarez, stating that 4,000 people had been killed recently and a total of 13,000 in the last three years in Mexico. We had to travel through Juarez twice for this trip and as stated in the article - one of the most dangerous cities in the world. We prayed that our car would be invisible! I was in Albuquerque, New Mexico, one of my favorite states. Bill Baker and myself, with our interpreter, Eva, stopped off along the way to pick bags full of apples to take. I saw a Roadrunner (the state bird) run along an adobe wall and I was very excited. I took this as a sign of blessing from God as the mission trip we were on was for Roadrunner Ministries International. We drove through to El Paso, Texas and stayed the night on the border. In the morning we crossed Juarez and got our visas - Bill finally got his visa approved and we prayed our way to Chihuahua City. We then prayed our way through several thunderstorms and watched them move to our side. In the evening we made it into the Copper Canyon and Creel - a small town that reminds me remotely of a ski resort town. It snows here in winter but the weather was lovely this time of year. Bill told us that last year the entire police force in this town were killed by the drug lords. Hmmm more prayer! The next morning we drove into the Copper Canyon and found small villages along the way to minister to. We gave out CD's with the gospel in Tarahumara. The CD's had testimonies, the Gospel and some worship songs in their native tongue. All who received them were grateful and some had tears in their eyes, as this was the first time they had received such a gift. Some of these CD's will be played over and over and over and shared with their extended families. We continued through incredibly beautiful landscape - enormous rocks, fir trees and fields of bright green corn. We passed through many rivers and past log cabin villages. We decided to go to a remote town deep in the canyon. We took the 4WD up incredibly steep roads on mountain ridges till we thought we were lost on an old logging trail. Finally we came down into a valley where we could see houses. We had made it! We found a place to stay in the dormitory of the school. I played basketball with the kids and 'hide-and-go-seek' with some of the local boys around the huge magnificent boulders out the back. I had bought school supplies to give out and bubbles. The next morning we walked to each house taking photos and giving out CD's. The reason we took photos was because Bill Baker is an incredibly talented artist and he takes these photos back home and then paints with pastels beautiful scenes of these people to raise money for more trips. Bill has been to over 50 countries sometimes hiking for days to find the most remote people to share the gospel. He has many amazing stories of God's provision and protection from his travels to the ends of the earth! The Tarahumara are an incredibly colorful but rather shy people. They wear sandals made from old tires called huaraches and are known for their stamina as they can run for days chasing a deer until it drops from exhaustion. They are the fastest endurance runners in the world. They live in the valleys of the Copper Canyon, four times the size of the Grand Canyon. They evaded the Conquistadors for the most part, yet still attend a Catholic service every Sunday and hold festivals mixed between Christianity and their own religion. When ministering to a different culture it is important to consider the impact you may be making. Doing aid work, even being generous like giving a candy or a dollar to the children, can be very damaging to an entire community as they may not have dental services. Children may not go to school when they can earn more than the average daily wage by begging from tourists. Native people around the world are always in danger of losing their traditional culture and we as missionaries need to think 'in what ways will I be impacting and influencing this area'. The traditional dress of these villages is slowly disappearing with the men no longer wearing their "zapetas" (loincloths). The Mexican government is planning to bring hotels into the Copper Canyon to bring the tourists. This will increase employment in the tourist industry and the desire and ability to purchase western products. Coca Cola bottles and cans already littered the road on the way to these remote villages but Coca Cola built the dormitory and the beautiful school where we stayed. When entering these villages it holds a sense of sadness for what is to come. The young people are already out of control with drunken violence. They are poor yet with television are starting to see an outside world full of material goods and temporary relationships. What can we bring to them as Christ's followers that will not damage their unique identity and culture but treasure and strengthen it and bring them new life, freedom and joy. Will it be a western form of religion that tells them to worship in an 19th Century European style that isn't really working even for our young people? How often have we built churches with pews and given them some hymns in their language and suits and ties to wear and told them this is the true and only acceptable way to worship? Is this what we should continue to do? When will we start to think outside the box and see church as not a building or a set of behaviors but as a group of broken people living in community. The Tarahumara already have a Catholic form of religious worship yet have no real understanding of the gospel. The devastating tragedy of the first missionaries to Mexico and the Native Americans brought the threat of conversion to Catholicism or "we will chop off your hand"! How will we bring in the simple life changing power of the pure gospel of Jesus Christ, who bought liberation from bondage and healed people physically, spiritually and emotionally? How will we teach the power of a personal relationship with Jesus, to receive the Holy Spirit and learn how to hear the voice of God, to learn the power of prayer and how to love extravagantly, in families and in communities? I have been a missionary in the past and have seen the danger in being untrained in social anthropology (or another's culture) and even untrained in the basic gospel of Jesus. I could have done a lot of damage (I didn't do any good) and I felt that I had accomplished almost nothing except taught some people English and had fun in an exotic country. A few years later I attended a Discipleship Training School which changed my life forever, and I realised I had missed out on some essential training. Before I had been doing it in my own strength without any understanding of my true power in Jesus Christ, without an understanding of spiritual warfare or the importance of hearing God's voice. There are different ways of positively impacting different cultures, that don't detract from their God-given uniqueness, around the world and even cultures in our own countries. We need to be very aware of the impact we are making, the assumptions we make about what is good and evil in another culture, and we need to open our eyes to see where the real spiritual warfare is. Lets start to think about how to treasure the uniqueness of other people's cultures and help them deal with modernity that will help maintain their identity in God. Religion, church and Christianity doesn't need to look the same in every culture. Why do we think the way we do it is the way it should be done for everyone else? Maybe we should stop building church buildings that open one hour a week and start building community centers or discipling the Church as the group of sinners called the Body of Christ and think outside the box? Does anyone know any good books or articles suggesting a new form of missional approach to bring the power of God through discipleship to other cultures without the baggage of religious structured tradition? If you would like to discuss this article and give suggestions please comment at the end of this article. More photos of the beautiful Raramuri/Tarahumara in the Sierra Tarahumara/Madre of Mexico. For more information about Discipleship Training Schools around the world check out this video. If you would like Nicki to come to your school, conference or church to help infuse a passion for prayer please email: BlissfulMinistries@yahoo.com

I am currently in the UK meeting some incredible people and attending some alternative worship events. I am preparing to join the European leaders of the 24-7 Prayer movement in Amsterdam for a conference before heading off to create prayer rooms in Kenya and Malawi. I am currently needing over $3000 to cover the airfare and other expenses so if you would like to be part of this incredible mission opportunity by sponsoring me I would be so grateful. I am looking for monthly sponsors so if you would like to partner with Blissful Ministries and become part of this creative ministry sharing the passion for prayer, it would be a great blessing. Because of the spiritual warfare in these countries I need a solid covering of prayer. I invite you to become a prayer warrior and whenever the Spirit prompts you to pray for the work I will be doing, for protection in mind, body and spirit and for adequate financial resources. I am grateful that God has provided for my needs and even for the desires of my heart, I am constantly amazed by his provision. He is a God who spoils and gives above and beyond. I have not regretted living this lifestyle with the adventures and faith and dependence it is teaching me. For a while it may seem easy and possible to live on almost no income but for the long term there definitely needs to be money coming in for bills and health insurance. If you would like to support this ministry financially (either with a one-time gift or monthly support) please contact me (donations are tax-deductible in the USA). Checks can be made out to FLASH Ministries (the non-profit 501c3 that is sponsoring my ministry). Please include 'Prayer Ministries' on the subject line and send it PO Box 495 Ooltewah, TN, 37363 USA. Donations by credit card are also accepted. Those in Australia or overseas can email BlissfulMinistries@yahoo.com for further details. Thank you for blessing this ministry and helping to change the culture of prayer. Blessings, Nicki Carleton I believe! Blissful Ministries PS. The above photo has been selected by Bill Baker to paint and I am very honored. If you would like to bid on the finished product please let me know! This church in Cusarrure looks after all the poor children in the community and these two precious girls are sitting at the foot of the cross in the church yard.

Prayer Rooms Update If you are in the location of a prayer room and would like to help or participate in a conference or mission please contact me. NOVEMBER: Malawi, Africa Three week Prayer Room and helping at an evangelistic meeting. OCTOBER: Amsterdam, Kenya Women's Mission and Safari, Masai Mara, Kenya October 9-15 Building a 24-7 Prayer Room Attending the International Gathering for 24-7 Prayer Leaders Europe October 1-4 SEPTEMBER: Ireland, UK, sharing at Newbold College. AUGUST: New Mexico, USA Mission trip to the remote Tarahumara People in the Copper Canyon Mexico. Sharing the gospel.

Stealing My Joy

This has happened before - it seems to be the devil's new style to try to bring me down. He tries something new every now and again and if it seems to frustrate and annoy me and put me off my game then he thinks he has succeeded. The ultimate aim is trying to get me to give up full time ministry - throw my hands up in the air and proclaim I am not strong enough to deal with this anymore. I am failing. I am unsuccessful and no one really cares anyway. That would be me feeling sorry for myself and running from my calling. Unfortunately God has embedded this calling like a tattoo in my spirit and I will not be truly happy unless I am following in his will - which he knows will fulfill all the desires of my heart. I look back and see the countless adventures and moments of pure wonder and astonishment at the kisses He has showered out for me along the way.

The funny thing is that I am learning the wiles of the evil one and am prepared in my mind for great trials and I have made a maxim for my life - "I will not get offended by what man or God may do to me - I will remain faithful to the end". Note to self: add "what the devil may do to me" in my little proverb. Preparing my heart is another story. This will require much prayer and emotional strength.

Let me tell you the story:
When I was leaving Jamaica I was soooo filled with joy seeing what God had accomplished in the hearts of those we ministered to with the prayer room and I was in awe to see how it worked out so amazingly well. I got dropped off at the airport by my wonderful new adopted family at 10.30am to fly out. The flight was delayed, finally we made it to Kingston only to wait there for hours and then go back to Montego Bay! So at 10.30pm I was sitting on the plane looking out to the gorgeous mountains wishing I had spent the last 12 hours at the beach! All up I was waiting over 15 hours to go on a one hour flight - I arrived at my destination at 2am. Other passengers were so upset!

I had ample time to think and read and pray while waiting for that long and it occured to me that the devil was trying to distract me from worshipping. He was trying to steal my joy. He was trying to steal the glory that God deserved - the joy in my heart rising like fragrant incence to him. I realised that if I got upset and frustrated I would have spent those 15 hours feeling sorry for myself and thinking about my own discomfort. It wasn't really that bad afterall! I was just sitting around. I intentionally focussed on praying and sending up joyful feelings, reminiscing about the children that had drawn their prayers all over the floor, the thousands of prayers that covered the room, the beautiful girl who spent so much time in the room that she came to me and said 'I want to build prayer rooms too', the young boy who loved helping me like a little Samuel and never wanted to leave the prayer room, the pastors that wanted to take this idea back to their churches to help other people spend hours praying and loving it. I kept the happy feelings going and I felt happier too.

Just recently I finished two childrens prayer rooms. The devil tried it again. By using some kids to trash the rooms. It was dark and they were unsupervised. It hurt me that someone would misuse such a sacred space but they were young and probably didn't realise that God spends time there too - maybe its like his holiday vacation house??? No one has ever done this before so it hurt my feelings - maybe its because these rooms are like my art - installation art - three dimensional story telling - and it takes us so long to put them together - they are unique original and never the same twice. Sometimes I think its like giving birth - but I don't really know that for sure.... so I treat the rooms with as much love as a baby with lots of nurture and care. But then they damaged some of my special art which was sad. But these things can all be fixed...

Then they stole the money that was my 'love' offering from the church. This is my only source of income. Maybe it wasn't very much anyway. But I have to live off that money. To make it worse this was the first 'love' offering I had ever asked for in a church (I had finally got up enough courage). So I didn't feel very 'loved'. Then I started to feel sad. I felt a bit like I was punched in the stomach - and I leave tomorrow so I felt like that was a terrible goodbye when I spent the last six weeks ministering in this community. Then I started to feel like giving up. Then I realised the devil was at it again so I cried out and begged God not to let the devil take my joy.

So I checked my email and this is what I read: (From Teenhopeline sent today)

Psalm 51. 14-17 Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Then there was this poem that spoke to my heart......

Let the water in my eyes, pierce my heart and pierce the skies
Let the glory of your light shine all around me
Cause I need your peace and glory now
Lord my heart has forgotten how
Let it be, let it be, Lord a vessel of honor to thee

Ignite a fire in my soul,
Set my world ablaze, take control
Let my heart beat only for thee
Cause I am tired and I'm poor
And I want to need you more
God make me what you want of me

Let the water in my eyes, pierce my heart and pierce the skies
Let the glory of your light shine all around me
Cause I need your peace and glory now
Lord my heart has forgotten how
Let it be, let it be, Lord a vessel of honor to thee

Take this humble offering
This is all that I can bring
To the altar, the table for you
My heart is weak and I am frail
And I know alone Iâll fail
God this is all that I can do

Let it rain, let it pour because I need to need you more
Let me cry, let me scream, yes I need more than it seems
You are rising in my dreams you are everything to me
Let it be, let it be, Lord let it be a vessel of honor

So God is teaching me gracefully and as I prayed asking him to give me the patience, and the ability to take the focus off my hurt - take my mourning and turn it into dancing. To take my sadness and turn it into joy. And then a smile started to creep back to tingle my cheeks just like it does when I drink a beautiful aromatic cup of my favorite hot tea.

I then reached for my Bible for a word of comfort and to listen to the voice of God and he spoke to me as I opened right to this passage.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Cor 4

Momentary light afflictions. These will happen again. Maybe they will get worse. But at least I'm in training for the stuff.

Praise God for this adventure. I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the whole world.

The full passage of 2 Cor 4 is incredible - for a blessing read on...

2 Corinthians 4
Treasures in Jars of Clay 1 Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart.
2 Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.
3 And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing.
4 The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.
5 For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake.
6 For God, who said, Let light shine out of darkness, made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all- surpassing power is from God and not from us.
8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;
9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.
11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.
12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
13 It is written: I believed; therefore I have spoken. With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak,
14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence.
15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Blessings to you on your adventures through this world - I like to call it the Matrix! Go ahead take the red pill.