Spectrum Magazine Article - The Prayer Room Experience by Nicola Carleton

I accidentally stumbled into this ministry of building prayer rooms. I felt like a musician discovering that perfect instrument or an artist finding a new medium that perfectly expresses the profound inspirations of the heart. Finding ones niche, ones sound, ones passion, ones ministry is like a dream come true. It is like finally finding out the specific way you were uniquely designed to worship God. So I worship God through my God given gifts for creating these sacred spaces, places where people can experience a relationship with God and learn to enjoy prayer. I seem to be a cross between an installation artist and a minister of the Gospel. An alternative worship curator.

The Levites were the first example of artists creating beautiful things for the glory of God. In fact it is recorded in Exodus 31 that the first people filled with the Spirit of God were artists, given the wisdom, understanding, knowledge and skill, to make designs and engage in all kinds of crafts. The Prayer Rooms are really modern day contemporary Sanctuaries. They also needed symbols and used the senses to illustrate the profound concepts of the love of God and created an environment where God could interact with his people.

Now for over five years I have been sharing this ministry full time, travelling all over the world creating Houses of Prayer and Healing in hospitals, Weeks of Prayer at academies, building permanent Prayer Rooms in churches and worship art projects. It is one of the most incredible ministries I have ever been part of. I have seen people healed physically, emotionally and spiritually and most importantly I have seen people fall in love with Jesus.

So what is so special about these Prayer Rooms? How can a room help people have a profound experience with God?

A Prayer Room is simply a space that is set apart for God. It is designed to feel comfortable and at home in. It has relaxing couches and prayer stations to help people pray in new ways. Often you will find a map of the world where you can pray for different countries. Maybe there will be an Addiction Wall where you consider the things interfering with your relationship with God. Sometimes you can draw your prayers on the walls or turn your prayers into art. Each Prayer Room will be unique and different. Each Prayer Room has the intention, that as you go from station to station you will be discipled in your walk with Jesus. The room has peaceful music and is designed to help you be quiet long enough to hear God speak.

Hearing God's voice seems to be a lost art in this fast paced world. Yet listening makes up 50% of each conversation we have with a person we are interested in fostering a relationship with. When it comes to our relationship with God, how are we to pray powerfully and effectively if we do not know his will? To know his heart we must first listen, then God will be the one that inspires us with what to pray for. Then miracles will start happening! How many of our prayer times are just one sided?

I find it difficult to pray as do most people. A Prayer Room inspires me to pray when I run out of things to pray about. I remember one little boy coming up to me and asking how on earth he was going to pray for an hour but being surprised when he stayed in there for four hours! Listening to God is a difficult discipline to learn too but the Prayer Room creates an environment where we can expect God to share his heart as we share ours.

Catering to Different Learning Styles.

Jesus loved to teach through the senses and in three dimensions using the world around him as symbols to illustrate deep spiritual concepts. I can relate to this method of teaching as I am a highly kinesthetic learner. Visiting many churches I realized that they are mostly made up of, and therefore cater mainly to, the auditory learner who is actually only around 20% of the population. I wondered how many kinesthetic and visual people had left (80%?) because they could not relate with the style of teaching so I encourage churches to create a Prayer Room or different worship experiences so people can connect with God in different ways.

Scientists have discovered that environmental stimulation is essential for healthy brain development in children and adults. Studies also show that learning effectiveness improves 90% with the use of environmental stimulation in workplace training. Simply changing from fluorescent lighting, hanging paintings, playing Mozart, using fresh flowers, regular 'brain' breaks and providing toys to play with can save money for employers on training and produce innovative employees.* If the business world is finding out how important our environment is to brain health then we need to pay attention too and bring art and beauty back into church! When we walk into a creative space our right brain switches on and our left brain with its to-do lists switches off allowing us to relax. I like to think the Prayer Rooms are like Spiritual Spas for our Souls! Imagine if office buildings, hotels, schools and homes all had interactive creative Prayer Rooms?

Healing Environments.

Each Prayer Room is like a room full of art therapy. The room is such a safe place to express anger, frustration, sadness, and joy. The more time we allow God to work on us the more we will be changed by his Holy Spirit. The most amazing prayer room I created was at Florida Hospital open 24-7, all day and all night. People who would never set foot in a church found themselves safe in the Prayer Room praying, crying and sharing their heart with God. Watch a short video here.

A Prayer Room Ministry is incredibly rewarding but also incredibly hard in so many ways. The enemy tries everything possible to stop people praying. Unfortunately funding is also extremely limited for prayer ministries but with a little creativity a room can be transformed into an oasis of God's presence. When creating a Prayer Corner in your house or classroom or a Prayer Room at your church the senses are an important aspect to think about. Allow the Holy Spirit to inspire you! There are resources available on the internet to help or you can buy the 24-7 Prayer Manual.

The aim of Prayer Rooms are simply to get more people, praying more. The more people pray the more miracles we will see. We can help inspire more people to pray powerfully for their families, their community and the world and see transformation take place.

I have many stories from people who have experienced God in the Prayer Room. One teen boy came up to me this week and said, "The Prayer Room is amazing, I really like going in there!" One Theology student shared with me he had the most spiritual experience of his life in a Prayer Room...

Why? Because if someone seeks an experience with God, He will reveal Himself, He will speak, He will be found. Jer 29.13, Romans 10.20, Proverbs 8.17, John 10.22-30.

'God has done all this, so that we will look for him and reach out and find him. He isn't far from any of us, and he gives us the power to live, to move, and to be who we are. "We are his children," just as some of your poets have said.' Acts 17.27,28

Nicola Carleton

Bio: Nicki is a sojourner who travels the world creating interactive prayer rooms and experiences to help people fall in love with Jesus, hear his voice and learn to love prayer. She lives by faith as a disciple living simply, depending purely on God's provisions through donations. She loves to experience new cultures, doing things she has never done before and being in a state of wonder.

www.BlissfulMinistries.com
Contact: BlissfulMinistries@yahoo.com
Part of www.24-7Prayer.com which is now the largest prayer movement in history.
*(How to Think like Leonardo da Vinci – Seven Steps to Genius Every Day By Michael J. Gelb)

Witchcraft and Satanism in Malawi November 2009

I knew something big to do with spiritual warfare would happen on this trip after the training I received in Hawaii! But I had no expectations. I had no idea what I was going to do while in Malawi but trusted God had a plan. A friend Tania had invited me on this trip so with minimal preparation we found ourselves privileged and blessed to be experiencing real life in Africa. I was allowing the Holy Spirit to lead as I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was supposed to be here.

Day 1: It is so hot, we are driving past villages and every house seems to have a mud brick works in their front yard! The landscape has some trees and the brown dirt is being hoed into ridges in preparation for the rainy season which could be here in a few weeks, with this comes the growing of corn maize and, unfortunately Malaria. Every house has white corn meal drying on mats outside which I had seen from the airplane and wondered about. This is the staple food - Nsema - we eat with our hands. As we pass each village there is usually a well with women and children lined up with brightly colored containers to carry back to their homes on their heads. We stop briefly at Lake Malawi and see a hippopotamus.

Week 1: We are here for three weeks and the village know we have come to pray for them so there are a lot of requests! House after house we hear the tragedy and heartache of different families and their needs. This little village of Ekwendeni near Muzuzu has it's problems with drunks and prostitution, some of the men take another wife secretly - even the Christian men - which causes untold problems within the families. Life is very hard for the women if they do not have a husband, as they are harassed by other men and find it very difficult to survive. They work so hard, walking up to 15 km to find firewood once a week, with the water also carried on their heads. The electricity and water get turned off at random times. We bathe out of a bucket. The houses are simple and clean, people walk everywhere, there are very few cars. Everything is done by hand. The children run around in tattered clothes and some have extended bellies. The weather has been so hot and there is so much dust. One day we all suffered from dehydration so that even our local interpreter Peter ended up in hospital - I am drinking 5 liters of boiled water a day.

We started by praying for a young man who was the son of a Presbyterian Reverend. The young man was rebelling and stealing, drinking, smoking, etc. The pastor gave him a challenge and he repented with tears. He gathered all the inappropriate items in his house and he burned them. It was beautiful to see the reconciliation and forgiveness between mother and father and son. He then came and joined our Bible worker team for a while. The second family we prayed for had five children, two of his children were taken by witches at night and reported being turned into animals. Soon all the neighbor children were gathered into the house also praying for repentance. It is not their choice to be taken and they do not like it.

A witch lives only a few doors up the road. The witches often demand that the children curse or kill their parents and are punished if they do not. One of the children admitted to cursing the father and he could no longer walk properly. So many people seem to be under a spiritual curse here. We pray for hundreds of people. Day after day. I write a prayer list out in my diary for each person. I also ask God for specific texts for each person and He is giving me texts that describe why they are sick and what to pray for with lots of promises to encourage. Each person is so grateful and find Bibles afterward to study these scriptures.

For three weeks a local evangelist Golden Lapani and a team of dedicated Bible workers are running a Jesus campaign. There are songs, classes for the children and families, the Jesus Movie is a great hit in their local language and then Golden speaks powerful messages, seven nights a week. Some of the people were asking if it could go for another month! We have put on events for the orphans, and widows giving out food, soap and toothbrushes. One family chose to stop brewing beer and broke all their pots. During the day Tania and I go out with the Bible workers and pray for people in their homes, then each night we pray for people at the meetings. This has been a powerful time of spiritual warfare with many muslims coming to the meetings and enjoying them.

I am shocked to find that 90% of the children under 10 in Ekwendeni are taken by witches every night. Even the children of Christians. They are afraid to go home to sleep each night. Some of the local church leaders of different denominations are not really aware of the situation or do not believe in witchcraft and wonder why we keep praying for people involved in witchcraft and satanism. I think the same thing happens in America. A lot of Christians don't believe in voodoo or spells or curses or demonic activity. The truth is we do not have to be afraid of it because demons run and every curse can be broken with Jesus' name. There is spiritual warfare in every country in the world. A friend from Florida had a history of demons coming to him at night sometimes trying to choke him. He was a Christian. Unfortunately no one had taught him how to pray in this situation and the power that was available to him.

The next few weeks were challenging with spiritual attacks on my health but we still saw the most incredible answers to prayer. Every time we prayed for children they would no longer have witches come and take them during the night. We broke a lot of curses off families that had a history of involvement in witchcraft or sexual immorality that had opened doors to demonic activity. We anointed people for healing and their houses. The most powerful thing I was involved in was teaching the children how to pray in the name of Jesus - to say 'No. In the name of Jesus Christ - GO AWAY! I am covered by the blood of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit lives in me, God's angels are protecting me and Jesus is my friend!'

Week Three: Yesterday a lady walking on the road near our evangelistic meeting was killed by a falling tree. She was on her way to a funeral after having attended another funeral. Such a tragedy... So much blood has been spilled in this town. Many people have abortions, affairs, second marriages, prostitution, HIV, diseases, many visit witch doctors for healing that make scars, people put curses on each other, many are involved in satanism or witchcraft and drink blood. There is a lot of poverty here and a lot of demonic bondage, witchcraft and cursings.

I can see clearly the attempt by the devil to pollute and destroy the Blood Covenant here. We continued to encourage people to pray that the many witches living in the village would be either converted or leave. If the people keep praying we will see a transformation in their spiritual lives, their physical lives and even the ground would be changed. "If my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place." 2 Chron 7.14

One day the pastor brought Tapiwa who was an Adventist Christian to us to continue praying for. She was an 18 year old girl who had been heavily involved in satanism. She had killed her 16 year old brother who had just received a scholarship to a school in Japan. For the last few months she could not talk, or swallow properly or move her body. She was locked up inside. Her eyes were piercing and she looked very dark yet we knew that she wanted to be free. She repented and broke off the curses over her life and God gave me these texts for her: Ez 16.53-63, 2 Chron 21.12-15, Psalm 49.13-17, Ez 33.15-16, Hab 1.5, Luke 11.13 and Is 35. The second session she was smiling, had more movements, her thoughts were clearer and she was singing and brighter. When she was baptized she ran out of the font. Her mother and father were also baptized and they report a complete transformation in her life, Praise God.

One night we anointed so many people, I could not count. A few people were healed immediately. On the last day about 60 people were baptized and I taught over a hundred children how to pray against the witches. It was an incredible three weeks of ministry. I saw the value in praying for people and teaching them how to pray. Discernment is the most valuable tool we can teach people. I believe that real discipleship continues after the famous preacher and foreigners go home and the meetings stop. It was such an incredible time to teach our interpreter Peter how to pray. His passion and dedication is amazing. I called him on the phone a couple of months after we left and he said that there have been more people healed returning to work, but some of the children were taken and whipped by the witches for repenting. He reports that every time he teaches a child how to pray powerfully in Jesus name, the witches do not come back. He also said that one witch has left the village. Please keep praying for the freedom of Ekwendeni. If you would like a prayer list please email me.

It took me many years before I understood the need for a proper understanding of the Blood Covenant. I didn't quite understand why blood was used as a sign of God's love and power, why circumcision was a symbol then and not now, why people married more than one wife in the Old Covenant but the New Covenant it was just one and how marriage vows today are a parallel with the Hebrew Blood Covenant. Basically I did not understand why Jesus had to die or why his blood was so important. If you would like to know more information about the Blood Covenant or breaking curses through prayer please contact me or see my website:

www.BlissfulMinistries.com or sign up for free Bible Studies.

If you would like to see pictures or stories of more adventures go to:

Pictures or Facebook

Whats Coming Up?

Nicki has just been interviewed on a worldwide radio station called Crossroads which will be aired on Feb 10 at 9am and 11pm USA Central time. If you do not have the radio then you can listen here on-line. It is an hour long!

Nicki is also needing to raise support for 2010. She continues to live her life as a disciple, listening to God's voice and following him to the ends of the earth sharing the gospel and setting people free through prayer. She needs the help of the Body of Christ to do this as she lives only on donations. Would you be willing to sponsor her $20 a month? Her US Tax 2009 Income: $4000 including cash donations.

Her next mission trip is to India and to different churches in the USA to help change their culture of prayer.

She is currently writing a book titled: A Pocket Guide for Travelers - Everything I wished I Knew Before My First Mission Trip. It mixes travel tips and cultural awareness with discipleship guides. It challenges the way mission trips are currently done and calls for Biblical discipleship to be the way we evangelize overseas.

A similar report from a YWAM Discipleship School in Nigeria. The team courageously prayed for and disarmed 900 Taliban-trained militants armed with the latest weapons. One leaders testimony reveals: "My job was to kidnap white people." He smiled. But he said, "I wasn't rehabilitated, I was transformed by the power of God." Prayer can change countries! Click here for full story.

I look forward to the coming adventures of 2010 and I pray you do too! Have a life changing year, drawing closer to God every day, listening to his voice and being abundantly blessed by a God who adores you.

Nicki Carleton
I Believe!

The picture above is of me and Rajab at our open air meeting in Ekwendeni. Rajab stole my heart. He was a tiny boy with an extended stomach and he was always hungry. He was seven years old but the size of a five year old. He was a Muslim but loved Jesus. When the Jesus Movie was playing the scene where Jesus died, he exclaimed, 'but don't worry it's going to be OK because Jesus wakes up!'

* Please pray for Ethiopia in a horrifying situation similar to 1984. Starvation is facing 6.4 million people after a drought wiped out the harvest. www.cbmus.org
* January 2010 is Slavery and Human Traficking Prevention Month. Pray how you can help bring justice into our world. Stop the Traffik.

Is Ministry Burnout Possible in Hawaii?

Is Ministry Burnout Possible in Hawaii?

Several times I found myself saying "I can not get burnout in Hawaii. That's just not right!" Somehow it just didn't seem possible. Afterall, people come to Hawaii for a vacation not to work. Yet I was working long hours in ministry. The first six weeks were working at a school with a prayer room that went for five weeks! So I came to a point when I knew I had to go on a hike and just soak underneath a waterfall and pray and feel all the stress wash away. But I was also glad that there were so many new friends to share with and I was so blessed to be part of so many unique ministry events.

Family Worship is something that needs to be restored, revitalized and treasured. Sometimes our spiritual journeys become so individualized that we are not always aware of what our children believe. This may be because we trust someone else with their spiritual training. Imagine if we taught our children to hear the voice of God, to pray powerfully because of the purity they possess, to enjoy being in the presence of God and to have fun learning about God! Let's pray like we believe in miracles!

In June, A wonderful Prayer Warrior, Michele Seibel hosted a Family Worship Festival at her house for all the Wyndward area churches. It was such a beautiful time. We lazed around under tents outside and sang some fun songs - then we entered into a time of worship and didn't want to stop singing. Next we had some food and the kids could play or go through the prayer tent or do the Bible treasure hunt while the adults talked, then had a workshop on how to make worships fun and relevant for the kids.

We then had some more songs and worship as the sun set. I felt the need to pray for our families to be united in prayer and for us to learn how to bless each other, forgive each other and pray over each other. So we broke up into family groups and spent time encouraging and blessing one another. It was a beautiful time. We then ended the night by watching a family movie out on the lawn and drinking root beer floats.

All through the day people could enjoy the Prayer Tent that was set up exclusively for the children although it was great to see some dads go through by themselves too! (We need to keep praying that fathers become spiritually strengthened to lead boldly with the Holy Spirits power.) The prayer stations were set up in a real camping tent which was really cute to put together with some of the stations outside as well.

The next month I was invited to preach at several churches. This was my first real attempt at preaching and I know God blessed my efforts. One of my passions of ministry is to change the culture of prayer in churches. So I went to prayer meetings and taught about prayer even if it involved getting up at 5am in the morning. Central Church is really excited about developing a permanent prayer room for their church and community so hopefully soon they will have someone on fire with the Spirit say they will take on this amazing prayer ministry! It was so fun to be involved with the prayer teams and to encourage them to pray in new ways - especially to wait and listen to God before praying for someone. I preached on the different ways God speaks to me and told some of the funny stories and incredible miracles that have been part of my journey. At the end of the sermon we invited anyone who needed prayer for any reason to come down the front where the prayer team ministered to them. It was an incredible time of prayer with the team sharing later that God had really spoken through them and touched the lives of those who needed prayer. They are now continuing the garden of prayer after every service and listening to God before they pray. This means that people coming to church will always have opportunity to pray with someone and will not have to leave with brokenness or heaviness still troubling them. What a gift to offer the congregation. I am very excited to see this happening as our churches turn more and more into houses of prayer.

I was asked by the Youth Director, Jesse Seibel to design a prayer tree for the summer camp. YES A PRAYER TREE! Now there is no limit to how creative you can be about prayer stations. There are so many ways to make prayer fun. Prayer journeys, walks, prayer stations, prayer treasure hunts, prayer rooms and fun interactive creative worships. This one was centered around the Tree of Life. The summer camp had a beautiful tree right in the middle so I designed about 15 stations that were attached to or near the tree. This was a very fun experience. A lot of the kids loved praying here in the beauty of the outdoors.

During the summer camp I took a morning off to go down the street to a beach that is known to have dolphins visit in the morning. Unfortunately I missed them but a lady told me to snorkel out to the boey then turn right and I would find a giant rock that was home to up to a dozen green sea turtles. I swam out and found about nine turtles resting and swimming around - this was a beautiful experience - I even cried into my mask... thanking God for giving me such a precious moment to treasure. I then drove to one of our favorite snorkeling spots at electric beach. The power plant pumps warm water through huge pipes out into the ocean and is a haven for the most beautiful fish I have ever seen.

As I was driving up to the beach I prayed and asked God if he would , that day, allow me to swim with dolphins today (as it would bring me a joy I could not describe in words). When I pulled up and looked out into the ocean I could see dolphin fins circling around. I put on my sunscreen and fins and swam out to sea. I soon found myself surrounded by hundreds of dolphins. I even saw a little baby dolphin in a pod (about two feet long). The green ocean was crystal clear and up to 50 foot down to the snow white sand on the bottom. I was out a long way from shore and by myself. This was a surreal and intense spiritual time of worship for me. I felt so close to God and was so grateful for this gift. When I got out after about an hour I watched the dolphins from the shore. They started to play and one dolphin made twelve triple summersaults in a row!

I had been working so hard that it was nice to escape into nature and see the incredible beauty that was so rich in Hawaii. A few weeks before, my friends had swum with these dolphins in the very same spot and had some waterproof cameras (if you would like to watch them playing with the dolphins see the link below).

The beauty of Hawaii is breathtaking. At every opportunity I tried to go on a hike. Saturday afternoon was usually a time when friends got together to explore new hikes. Hawaii is full of the most beautiful people I have ever met. If you ever get a chance to experience the islands you will be blessed.

I am overwhelmed that God would send me to do ministry in such a beautiful place. I hope that this is an encouragement to all of us who are in full time ministry - even though we sacrifice many things that others may think essential to happiness, God really knows our hearts better than anyone ever will. As we work with him, he will take us on incredible adventures that will end up blessing us as well as those we minister to.

I met some incredible prayer warriors, friends that will be for eternity, life-changing mentors.

To those who sponsored me financially thank you so much. To Chaplain Mark Hughes, for his house and car while he was on deployment and the Seibels for their hospitality - I could not have done this without you. To those who blessed me through prayer and encouragement bless you! My time in Hawaii was an incredibly intense time of ministry with God revealing to me a much deeper level of understanding into spiritual warfare. I was witness to three separate demonic experiences. This was the first time in my life it has been so real to me. I do not recommend having to experience this to understand the power that we have through believing in the blood of Jesus Christ. The gift of discernment is one I would beg every Christian to find and hold on to for dear life. This is the one gift I desire above all others. There is so much deception around us. There is no time to just coast to heaven by sitting in a pew. Its time to get out the nitrous. To get serious. To take the Red pill. To be ready to go 'All in'. To be ready to say "I did everything I could, I gave everything I had and I finished the race hard and yes, it was worth every step."

More photos of the Children's Prayer Tent and Childrens Prayer Workshop.

More Photos of the Prayer Tree and the Beautiful flowers of Hawaii.

The beautiful You-Tube video of swimming with wild dolphins at Electric Beach.

If you would like Nicki to come to your school, conference or church to help infuse a passion for prayer please email: BlissfulMinistries@yahoo.com

Interesting Fact: Spiritual Warfare is real without a shadow of a doubt. Every time I create a prayer room I have intense spiritual attacks against me. I am learning what they look like so I can be prepared and be attentive to God's Spirit. Then when I am finished I have things happen that will try to steal my joy, to stop me praising God and giving him glory for what has happened in the prayer room. I have written about some of my experiences on my BLOG about the dangers of experiencing Centering Prayer and Experiencing Demons. We need never be afraid of anything that can come against us - we must also learn the power that we have in the name of Jesus. An article coming soon to this blog! I would love to find people who would become monthly sponsors and/or, intercessors - praying for my protection from spiritual attacks, praying for my financial needs and praying for God to work and speak and create through me to touch the lives of those I minister to. I am grateful that God has provided for my needs and even for the desires of my heart I am constantly amazed by his provision. He is a God who spoils and gives above and beyond. I have not regretted living this lifestyle with the adventures and faith and dependence it is teaching me. For a while it may seem easy and possible to live on almost no income, but for the long term there needs to be money coming in to support this prayer ministry, as well as for bills and health insurance. If you would like to support this ministry financially (either with a one-time gift or monthly support) please contact me (donations are tax-deductible in the USA). Checks can be made out to FLASH Ministries (the non-profit 501c3 that is sponsoring my ministry). Please include 'Prayer Ministries' on the subject line and send it PO Box 495 Ooltewah, TN, 37363 USA. Donations by credit card are also accepted. Those in Australia or overseas can email BlissfulMinistries@yahoo.com for further details. Thank you for blessing this ministry and helping to change the culture of prayer. Blessings, Nicki Carleton I believe! Blissful Ministries PS Check out my new website www.BlissfulMinistries.com

Prayer Rooms Update

If you are in the location of a prayer room and would like to help or participate in a conference or mission please contact me.

NOVEMBER: Malawi, Africa
Three week Prayer Room and helping at an evangelistic meeting.

OCTOBER: Amsterdam, Kenya

Women's Mission and Safari, Masai Mara, Kenya
October 9-15
Building a 24-7 Prayer Room

Attending the International Gathering for 24-7 Prayer Leaders Europe
October 1-4

Stealing My Joy

This has happened before - it seems to be the devil's new style to try to bring me down. He tries something new every now and again and if it seems to frustrate and annoy me and put me off my game then he thinks he has succeeded. The ultimate aim is trying to get me to give up full time ministry - throw my hands up in the air and proclaim I am not strong enough to deal with this anymore. I am failing. I am unsuccessful and no one really cares anyway. That would be me feeling sorry for myself and running from my calling. Unfortunately God has embedded this calling like a tattoo in my spirit and I will not be truly happy unless I am following in his will - which he knows will fulfill all the desires of my heart. I look back and see the countless adventures and moments of pure wonder and astonishment at the kisses He has showered out for me along the way.

The funny thing is that I am learning the wiles of the evil one and am prepared in my mind for great trials and I have made a maxim for my life - "I will not get offended by what man or God may do to me - I will remain faithful to the end". Note to self: add "what the devil may do to me" in my little proverb. Preparing my heart is another story. This will require much prayer and emotional strength.

Let me tell you the story:
When I was leaving Jamaica I was soooo filled with joy seeing what God had accomplished in the hearts of those we ministered to with the prayer room and I was in awe to see how it worked out so amazingly well. I got dropped off at the airport by my wonderful new adopted family at 10.30am to fly out. The flight was delayed, finally we made it to Kingston only to wait there for hours and then go back to Montego Bay! So at 10.30pm I was sitting on the plane looking out to the gorgeous mountains wishing I had spent the last 12 hours at the beach! All up I was waiting over 15 hours to go on a one hour flight - I arrived at my destination at 2am. Other passengers were so upset!

I had ample time to think and read and pray while waiting for that long and it occured to me that the devil was trying to distract me from worshipping. He was trying to steal my joy. He was trying to steal the glory that God deserved - the joy in my heart rising like fragrant incence to him. I realised that if I got upset and frustrated I would have spent those 15 hours feeling sorry for myself and thinking about my own discomfort. It wasn't really that bad afterall! I was just sitting around. I intentionally focussed on praying and sending up joyful feelings, reminiscing about the children that had drawn their prayers all over the floor, the thousands of prayers that covered the room, the beautiful girl who spent so much time in the room that she came to me and said 'I want to build prayer rooms too', the young boy who loved helping me like a little Samuel and never wanted to leave the prayer room, the pastors that wanted to take this idea back to their churches to help other people spend hours praying and loving it. I kept the happy feelings going and I felt happier too.

Just recently I finished two childrens prayer rooms. The devil tried it again. By using some kids to trash the rooms. It was dark and they were unsupervised. It hurt me that someone would misuse such a sacred space but they were young and probably didn't realise that God spends time there too - maybe its like his holiday vacation house??? No one has ever done this before so it hurt my feelings - maybe its because these rooms are like my art - installation art - three dimensional story telling - and it takes us so long to put them together - they are unique original and never the same twice. Sometimes I think its like giving birth - but I don't really know that for sure.... so I treat the rooms with as much love as a baby with lots of nurture and care. But then they damaged some of my special art which was sad. But these things can all be fixed...

Then they stole the money that was my 'love' offering from the church. This is my only source of income. Maybe it wasn't very much anyway. But I have to live off that money. To make it worse this was the first 'love' offering I had ever asked for in a church (I had finally got up enough courage). So I didn't feel very 'loved'. Then I started to feel sad. I felt a bit like I was punched in the stomach - and I leave tomorrow so I felt like that was a terrible goodbye when I spent the last six weeks ministering in this community. Then I started to feel like giving up. Then I realised the devil was at it again so I cried out and begged God not to let the devil take my joy.

So I checked my email and this is what I read: (From Teenhopeline sent today)

Psalm 51. 14-17 Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Then there was this poem that spoke to my heart......

Let the water in my eyes, pierce my heart and pierce the skies
Let the glory of your light shine all around me
Cause I need your peace and glory now
Lord my heart has forgotten how
Let it be, let it be, Lord a vessel of honor to thee

Ignite a fire in my soul,
Set my world ablaze, take control
Let my heart beat only for thee
Cause I am tired and I'm poor
And I want to need you more
God make me what you want of me

Let the water in my eyes, pierce my heart and pierce the skies
Let the glory of your light shine all around me
Cause I need your peace and glory now
Lord my heart has forgotten how
Let it be, let it be, Lord a vessel of honor to thee

Take this humble offering
This is all that I can bring
To the altar, the table for you
My heart is weak and I am frail
And I know alone Iâll fail
God this is all that I can do

Let it rain, let it pour because I need to need you more
Let me cry, let me scream, yes I need more than it seems
You are rising in my dreams you are everything to me
Let it be, let it be, Lord let it be a vessel of honor

So God is teaching me gracefully and as I prayed asking him to give me the patience, and the ability to take the focus off my hurt - take my mourning and turn it into dancing. To take my sadness and turn it into joy. And then a smile started to creep back to tingle my cheeks just like it does when I drink a beautiful aromatic cup of my favorite hot tea.

I then reached for my Bible for a word of comfort and to listen to the voice of God and he spoke to me as I opened right to this passage.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Cor 4

Momentary light afflictions. These will happen again. Maybe they will get worse. But at least I'm in training for the stuff.

Praise God for this adventure. I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the whole world.

The full passage of 2 Cor 4 is incredible - for a blessing read on...

2 Corinthians 4
Treasures in Jars of Clay 1 Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart.
2 Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.
3 And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing.
4 The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.
5 For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake.
6 For God, who said, Let light shine out of darkness, made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all- surpassing power is from God and not from us.
8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;
9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.
11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.
12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
13 It is written: I believed; therefore I have spoken. With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak,
14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence.
15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Blessings to you on your adventures through this world - I like to call it the Matrix! Go ahead take the red pill.

Fear Did Not Survive.

Fear is darkness, fear is evil, heavy like chains and as real as a demon. Fear stretches out its tenticles and keeps joy far away. Joy is gentle, like a butterfly alighting on a fragrant garden flower and is easily scared. But joys home is the heart and it should build its nest in our spirit, comfortable and safe and part of the strength of our character. It should shine out of our eyes and linger in our smile, be part of every action and the infused in our memories.

For many years I was ruled by fear. Too many years. The only safe place was a bathroom where the door could be locked and I would be safe from the world and people. Social Anxiety Disorder is what it was called... I wish I had known about that at the time because I may have been able to do something about it.

My life was ruled by fear. It stopped me from growing, from learning, from talking to people, from shopping, from being in public. Today, my life and my character have been influenced by this illness. It seemed like I didn't talk to a boy till I was 19 and I still dislike shopping to this day. Some would say this was a good thing. In some ways it was but I wouldn't mind having some fun memories of my mother and me shopping for a new outfit! Treasured memories... Do you have treasured memories from childhood or haunted memories? Most of us, if we look at the statistics have had things happen in our lives that will change us forever. Events that occured that traumatised us, that scarred us, that will need some good therapy and some good anger and processing to get over! And healing comes....

Healing came to me in the form of a Doctor. Doctor John. Having Social Anxiety Disorder was difficult and I found it extremely distressing to be in the presence of any person of authority, be it the hairdressor or a salesman. So when I found a doctor that heard my heart and prescribed books to read I knew I had found a safe place for my healing. I remember he told me to read "The Road Less Travelled" and "The Prophet" by Khalil Ghibran. It is my favorite book to this day. The next step was that he gave me some anti-anxiety antidepressants and my life changed forever. From the moment I took them my fear went away and I experienced the feeling of happiness for the very first time.

Most people would never understand the ginormity of simply having or not having the feeling of happiness. It seems like such a everyday sort of 'whatever' emotion to have. But when you have not had it for 21 years it certainly floors you like a knockout punch! As I lay reeling on the floor looking up at the world from this new perspective I saw the colors, I saw the brilliance of the sun, the coolness of the grass, smelled the fragrance of the flowers and wanted to dance with the butterflies. I saw myself differently. I started to live.

Walking the streets of London where I moved to shortly after that, I remember reaching my arms out with my head lifted high saying loudly - "I belong here, I have the right to be here, this world doesn't scare me any more, I will no longer be ruled by fear, I am free, I am happy, here I come world so get ready!" I began to gain independence, started the journey of believing in myself, of feeling worthy of having a relationship with God and deserving love, happiness and joy.

The absence of fear is an interesting thing. After taking the pills - I was on a very small dose yet it made a huge difference in my serratonin levels. I had a real chemical imbalance - as much as I still hate taking any sort of medication, I know that sometimes it is without question the answer for healing. It made such a remarkable difference in my thinking......I remember being in Blackpool UK, riding a rollercoaster proported as the highest in the world but because I had no fear it was not very exciting... I realised a little fear keeps the excitement and tension to make these things fun. Interesting...

So that was many years ago and I have not needed any medication for almost as long. I believe it was my miracle of healing. God helped me find a doctor that I still go to not only for medical treatment but for just a chat. He is my hero. He saved my life. I will be eternally grateful. The pills brought me healing. Time brought me healing. Therapy brought me healing. Spiritual Directors and the Holy Spirit brought me spiritual healing.

Anxiety and worry and fear have lost their grasp over my life. I cast off those chains and believe that God will hold me through every battle I face. Spiritual warfare will come, tragedy will strike, the deceiver will lie and torment but I cannot give in and release the precious gift of joy. Hold it close, treasure it, nurture it. Through it we see into the supernatural world. Our spirits can dance with God's. It is such a gift.

Some texts on JOY.

You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16.11

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. Psalm 28.7

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy. Psalm 30.11

And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit. Acts 15.32

Be joyful always. 1 Thess 5.16

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. James 1.1-3

To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence with fault and with great joy - to the only God our Saviour by glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen Jude 1.24

A prayer for you: May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen Romans 15.13